the siren call of the google search bar

and where it leads us

There are two things that almost always come with an infertility experience…

The Mystery and The Unknown. We get results, labels, theories, curveballs—and many don’t make sense. No one has a crystal ball to tell us if or when we’ll have a baby—but we’d like one. We crave answers that doctors and science can’t (or won’t) give us.

Thirty-five years ago, there wasn’t much we could do to find out more for ourselves. Not easily. But now, with a phone in hand and a seductive search bar, the possibilities seem endless.

We google our results, our situation, our two-week-wait symptoms, unearthing an astonishing amount of information. We can become more expert in infertility than our GP. We find countless forums and stories of people who seem to have similar experiences. But often, we end up utterly addicted and ever so lost.

Dr. Google is just as likely to confuse as to help. Sometimes, it gives us hope—a false sense of trust that keeps us coming back. We spend hours in its grasp, only to end up back where we started. I can still remember the names of people on forums whose stories echoed mine. But reading their stories for hours nearly always made me feel worse.

I lost count of the number of people (including doctors) who told me not to Google. That advice became another source of shame because I couldn’t stop. It was too easy, too accessible, and it fed my illusion that I could fix everything if I just researched hard enough. Googling made me feel in control—until it didn’t.

It dangled hope but also fanned the flames of my anxiety.

Here lies the sting: we place our fingers in the search bar to soothe and end up bitten. Many of my clients come to me because they can’t stop googling. What I never do is tell them to simply stop. That would ignore the reasons behind the behavior and risk adding shame to an already difficult situation.

If we consider how googling can fuel health anxiety, we should also pause to reflect on what health anxiety really is.

Understanding Health Anxiety

Health anxiety is a heightened and persistent worry about health that often spirals into compulsive behaviors like excessive googling or seeking medical reassurance. It thrives on uncertainty, which is abundant in the infertility experience. The search for answers—often an attempt to regain control—can instead deepen anxiety, creating a vicious cycle of seeking and suffering.

Why Googling Feeds Health Anxiety

• Illusion of Control: Googling feels like action—a way to “do something” about uncertainty. But the control it offers is fleeting, often leading to more questions than answers.

• Information Overload: The internet overwhelms us with contradictory or irrelevant information, amplifying confusion and worry.

• Confirmation Bias: We focus on information that validates our worst fears, reinforcing anxiety.

• Comparison Trap: Stories and forums seem relatable but rarely capture the nuances of your unique situation, leading to unnecessary distress.

• Hope and Despair: Hopeful anecdotes can lift us momentarily but crash hard when they don’t align with our reality.

Ultimately, addressing health anxiety—and the compulsive googling it fuels—isn’t about shaming or banning the behavior. It’s about understanding that it stems from a deep need for certainty, reassurance, and control. Supporting my clients in navigating these needs with compassion can help break the cycle and bring a sense of peace amidst the unknown.

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Because this is something I encounter and support with so often in my work with clients, I’ve decided to host a seminar on health anxiety on January 30th at 12 PM online. Together, we’ll explore:

• Why health anxiety thrives in uncertainty.

• Why googling feels so irresistible and what it’s really trying to achieve.

• How to start reclaiming your peace of mind.

You’ll leave with a deeper understanding of health anxiety and practical tools to help you feel more grounded.

This isn’t about judgment or quick fixes—it’s about feeling seen and learning compassionate strategies.

📅 When: January 30th
📍 Where: Zoom, £15
💬 Reserve your spot: book here

If health anxiety feels overwhelming right now, this seminar could be the start of finding a different way forward.